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FREELANCER
TRIBUNE
The
Medieval Corporation
by
Freddy Baer
June 1,
7004
The
medieval corporation, a faceless bureaucracy dating before 2524
and facing demise, was forced to settle with the Freelancers in
2019. The
Freelancers were considered to be a rogue group of individuals
looking to break down the walls put in place by medieval corporations .
"They are unreasonable, they expect steady work for God
sake!" stated Bhute' Whoelle, the CEO of RedTape, Inc.
The
Freelancers had joined together forming what they called Virtual
eOffices, and finally, Virtual eCorporations. But each office was
still acting as an individual entity, filing there own taxes,
insurance and retirement plans. Most even educated themselves
given their newly discovered form of communication that we take
for granted, the net(originally connected by physical wires!). That gave them incredible strength
because when the medieval corporations sicked their lawyers on these
zealots for work, they found they had no ability to stop them.
"We need a 'Deep Pocket' to get these guys" was the cry
from Stichum, Kuctem, and Edam the attorneys for Lyco.
The
Freelancers merged with the Virtual Assistants, and the Temps
challenging the productivity limitations of the medieval
corporations. The problem was, medieval corporations had too many
overhead costs, lawyers, and a general cumbersome mix of business
procedures. The freelance system offered a dynamic business model
as opposed to the static model presented by the medieval
corporations. Hiring and Firing was a click away for the
Virtual eCorporation. Plus, down time costs were eliminated
because jobs were on a per project basis. Freelancers diversified
their employers' much in the same way that stock market investors
diversify portfolios to insure the life of an investment. Websters'
Dictionary eliminated the word 'unemployed' in 3017. In order to
obtain an employee, the medieval corporation had to use ancient
methods like the good ole' boy underground(friends and relatives).
To let an employee go, they would usually trick them into signing
an agreement(back dated to time of hiring) stating that for no
reason would the employee ever litigate. This was of course, while
employed so as to enforce the need to sign the paper. Then, to the
catapult for you..aaahh! "Good Luck in the Future" were
usually the last words of the catapult operator. By 2014 they actually asked potential and
current employees to submit to DNA analysis, colonoscopy, family
tree analysis based on retrieval and exhumations of all relatives
listed in the RUWorthy Database located on the island of
Greedihamas. Greedihamas was founded in 2005 by Lyco, which bought
every judge in the free world. The RUWorthy database was created
and maintained by Capitalization Uno, a credit and insurance
company that is now extinct.
Finally,
in the year 2525, they couldn't stay alive, according to their
lawyers(later it was discovered that the lawyers had been
freelancing themselves the entire time!). They settled after the
new CEO of RedTape inc, Khomman Cense, realized that an extra
layer on his company that was dynamic and time saving, would
increase productivity to levels not previously seen. After the
revolution, the Leader of the Freelancers, Itoldyu Soe, was quoted
as saying "See..I told you so".
Copyright 7004 Freelancer
Tribune.
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